Pessimism, Optimism, Self Worth

So I started reading Lore's Blog yesterday and I am psyched on writing again.

I'm psyched on training again.

I just read my last post, about having crappy sessions on the fingerboard and giving up and going for a run.

And I thought to myself - 'that is fucking depressing'
 Which is how I was feeling when that happened.

I think Lore gets the same sort of experiences, but looks at them, and approaches them in a different way.
 Feeling down and bummed out is a weakness in itself, and it is something that can be beaten and worked out of the body and mind.

I think I have been pussying out of acually improving for a while now, and while the gains have been coming, they could becoming much faster.
I am going to sit down and work out exactly what I want to achieve by winter, how I intend to achieve it, and then set about doing that.

Thanks Lore.


Yesterday evening was a prime example of how I should improve.
I competed in the opening round of the Craggy winter boulder league.

I climbed alrightish, I flashed 10 boulders and did another 2 second attempt, but I was pumped and weak by the last ones. I think this is in equal measure a case of comeptition technique, competition training and just getting stronger.

I could definitely have won, but I didn't. I even gave up before the end of the comp because I wanted to mooch around and talk with friends.

About 10 minutes from the end though, I realised I still had the chance to win and it really put the fire back under my arse. I ran to get my shoes, brushed one problem that I had failed to do first time and given up on, then flashed it with ease.

I was then 4 points behind with one feasible problem to go.

I had already failed on it once before, so I had 7 points available, then 4.

If I climbed it second attempt, I would win.
If I climbed it third attempt, I would draw.

I failed to climb it.

I was too pumped and weak to do it, even though I knew I could.

I hate that.
I really hate that.

This afternoon, I am heading down to the fingerboard to do pullups.

On small rungs.


I'll write again when I work out my training goals and plan.