Starting Up

Here we are again, me not writing for a while, and you losing interest because of it.

I apologise.

I'm a terrible person, yadda yadda.

So much has happened in the last few months, that as time has gone by, it has seemed more and more overwhelming to catch people up on what has been going on. However, I feel that this has gone on a little too long, and it is really about time for me to start writing again.

I'll start this post by outlining some of the major plotpoints of the last few months.

• I quit my job
• I was offered a job in Fontainebleau with Maisonbleau
• I was let down by that offer and had to come home
• I found myself a girlfriend
• I moved in with her in Nottingham
• I now work at the Climbing Depot in Nottingham
• I'm having a great time!

What follows is likely to contain a small portion of catharsis, a slump, and some redemption. I'm not sure where I am on the curve of life right now, but it has definitely started to take an upward turn. 

Without further ado, I will begin... 

Here we are at the Depot Halloween competition

Now that I am back working at a climbing wall, I am so much happier than I was working at the school. It's only now that I am out of that environment, and back doing something that I love - day in, day out- that I realise what a horrible idea it was to take the job in the first place. 

As a conduit for climbing trips, it was absolutely top class, I had money and loads of time, and I even had a facility on campus for daily training if I desired! However, all the climbing in the world couldn't stop me peeling apart at the edges while working at Cranleigh. It would get to the point where I was dreading turning up to my room in the morning, where I would sit - feeling completely ostracised from both the common room, and the students - while also finding myself unable to talk to the other technicians on even a remotely level basis.

I wont labour the subject, but after 2.5 years working a dead end job, with people I couldn't relate to, I was wrecked. I was waking up in the morning to drive into work, to arrive barely on time. I'd sit for hours, numb, staring at a screen, waiting for some form of human contact. 

Don't get me wrong, some people thrive in this environment, and it shows in the grades and the commitment to achievement at the school, but it was a complete non-starter for myself. By the end of my time there, I was driving home in the evenings in a total wreck, deeply unhappy for myself, and starting to consider seeing a therapist.

At Easter, I decided that enough, was enough. I couldn't keep going. I signed off a week before the holiday and packed up a van to go and live in Ceuse with my good friend Joseph Schenk. My plan while I was out there, was to try and clear my head, and make at least some sort of a plan for the future. 

Back in October, I had spoken to Neil Hart at Maisonbleau about doing some gite management for him while he focussed on his wider filming projects. And so it was, that I dropped him another line and found out that he was still interested in hiring someone for the role. To cut a long story short, after a series of letdowns, and the complete disorganisation on the part of Neil to sort out a meeting time, I had to head home without talking, and find myself another job. 

Fortunately, when I came back, there was a job posting for part time work in The Depot - Nottingham. Since I was already spending a lot of time driving up and down the country to see Abigail, the job seemed like an ideal opportunity to tick a bunch of my personal boxes - not least, making it easier to see her. As it turns out, I got the job, and we ended up moving in together at the start of July!

I'm very happy here.

After around a year of being down, and generally unhappy with my share in life, I find myself enjoying the prospect of going to work, of coming home in the evenings, and of living in such close proximity to such a wealth of climbing as can be found in the Peak, and being able to enjoy that with Abi.

After a spell of injuries (still not over) I finally feel that I am getting back to somewhere near my peak... I hadn't realised just how much I had lost over the previous months, but the change from when I started working at the centre, to now, is just monumental. Over just a few months I went from trying hard and falling off of V6/7, to routinely flashing them, and only having a couple of problems left to do in the centre.

All this has culminated in a new look at some of my goals that I set a while back. Depression has a way of making you lose sight of what you wanted, and making you forget about goals and targets. Now that I am back on a somewhat level sea again, I can get back to my year goal of Triple 8's.

It might not happen this *year*, but I hope that it might happen this *season*.

As you may, or may not, know - the Triple 8's goal is to complete an 8A boulder, an 8a sport route, and an E8 trad route.

I'll say no more, except that I am close to one, and that I made this video the other day...